Feeling Sheepish

But, here we are

Cast Down

I recently learned that sometimes, after tripping in a hole or rolling down a hill, a sheep can land upside down and be unable to right itself. The sheep is “cast” or “cast down.”

This is my “On Leadership” metaphor, and I’m sticking with it.

As you may know, I posted at the end of March with what I believed (still believe) to be an exciting and nuanced idea for a series of personal essays referencing current events, or at least “the times we live in,” and the role that distant leadership affects small moments and daily life.

Over the next days and weeks I found myself inspired by some specific, current leadership event, usually first thing in the morning. I would mull over the idea through the day as I worked, making notes either mentally or in my favorite little notebook. By habit I check the news throughout the day, a crippling FOMO habit I’ve had for decades now (I suppose I can date it to late 2001). By the end of the day the inciting incident for my essay would have morphed, flipped and reversed, or simply been eclipsed—or all of the above, many times over.

One day in April when I thought I finally had an opening essay (and I’m barely exaggerating here) went something like this: Tariffs On—Gaza—Stocks crash—Lower court orders (something)—USAID exists/does not/does exist—Tarrifs Off—Ukraine—Earthquake!—Supreme Court issues stay (of earlier something)—Stocks Rebound—DOGE, Musk, DOGE, Musk—Shocking Executive Order—Musk—Mining on public lands—USAID does not exist—Gaza—Close of stocks—Tariffs On.

It did not take long for me to realize my plans for personal, situation-specific, nuanced contemplations on leadership (or anything) were simplistic and naive.

I feel a bit like I’m in a Shakespeare play… The time is out of joint. My Reality and The World’s Reality are in not in synch. The Ghost of Hamlet’s Father is waiting for its foggy entrance.

And so here we are

In the last 48 hours or so has gone something like this: The One Big Beautiful Bill has passed, touted as Trump’s “policy bill” but voted on under the rules of a budget bill so that it could pass the Senate in a 51/50 Vance tie-breaker. Medicaid, SNAP, Social Security changes with complex repercussions, tax policy changes (some temporary), tax policied made permanent, Kennedy Center funds, and a dozen others items.

The Social Security Administration immediately sent countless millions of people an unprecedented, deeply political email regarding the bill, and no matter what you think of the bill, that’s enough to be newsworthy and leadership-relevant.

Also in the bill, ICE has been given a budget multiple times (how many times multiple? three? five? ten? depends how you count it)… Like MULTIPLE times…. the existing budget for the FBI, DHS, FDA, IRS, NPS, FEMA… That’s pretty extraordinary, and what I’m watching most critically.

On the subject, a detention center for rounded-up immigrants, paid for by Florida tax-payers and to be reimbursed by FEMA (extraordinary), run by private equity, is apparently being called by everyone (and put on highway signs as) “Alligator Alcatraz.” I can’t imagine the psychosis involved in thinking that’s cute or appropriate. It’s certainly a leadership decision to be examined.

A right-wing… influencer? podcaster?… has suggested that 65 million people will feed the gators well. Are there 65 million immigrants, legal or otherwise? No… But there are 65 million Latinos. Huh. There has been silence from the government, Trump, or any mouthpieces thereof.

Trump has “announced” that a UFC fight will take place on the White House grounds as part of the United States’ 250th anniversary. That’s bold. It would make and interesting Bread and Circuses essay, but

Oh—deportees (not from Djibouti) to Djibouti.

Oh—Ukraine is suffering its worst bombardment of the war. The US has suspended delivery of munitions and Patriot missiles.

Oh—One hundred Gazans were gunned down trying to get food. Or not.

Oh—Israeli hostages.

Oh—Texas floods. The essay I’d write would be about the fingerpointing that may (or may not) be from mostly (or a few) bots, but no one seems interested in anything bot-related and instead are typing outrage at each other.

Oh—Another (how many? several) Executive Orders.

This is the last 48 hours.

And so, here we are, July 4 (now 5), 2025. It’s all very fast and furious, rather than contemplative and nuanced.

“On Leadership” has become, in my mind, a fluffy, wide-eyed sheep cast upon its back, without a shepherd in sight.

And so

Now that I’ve come to terms with my impotence to publish anything about current events and leadership “in the moment,” I’m just going to write those essays for myself and keep them to myself.

When we make it through to the other side, I’ll have a memoir of survival during “interesting times.”